This Land is Your Land

The happy/sad drama faces - fitting description for how I feel!

I've never been very good at letting go. In truth, I'm pretty darn awful at it. Always have been, whether it be an idea or a relationship, or anything in between. Even when I  was the one to break up with a guy, seems like it took me longer than him to move on. One of the pitfalls of being sentimental and nostalgic, I suppose.

So you can imagine my trouble this week, as we've been preparing to close on our home in Atlanta tomorrow. Wow. So much of that truth seems impossible to me--impossible that we actually were able to sell (by God's grace!), and impossible that we're actually, finally moving on from that home.

Like any traditional woman, my home is ever-so-close to my heart. We decorate our homes, fill them with pictures and keepsakes, turn them into havens for ourselves and our loved ones. Essentially, our home is a giant scrapbook of our life, a place to collect the many memories of life, day in and day out.

The five years we spent in that Atlanta home were certainly filled with memories, both scrapbook worthy and not-so-scrapbook worthy. I will never forget the first time we laid eyes on the place--we were driving up from Mobile, AL to look for places and arrived in town late at night. Pulling up into the carport, we both felt this strange sense that we were "home." It's like finding a mate--when you know, you know. We nearly bought another house, but my parents found this one on a Sunday afternoon drive around Decatur, and how thankful I am that they urged us to at least check it out.

As tumultuous and drama-filled as those 5 years were, I can't say enough for how much I loved that home, and what a fantastic shelter it was for us. When you invest literal blood, sweat, and tears into a place, it leaves a mark on you. And, while this wasn't Aaron and I's first home together as husband and wife, it was the first home we purchased together as husband and wife--one of those significant life milestones!

So it's no surprise that I filled out all the myriad of closing documents with a lump in my throat and a sight "scratchy" feeling. Like I've said before on this blog, it's a bittersweet time. I couldn't be more thankful to have sold the home and be starting the new year fresh and without that hanging over our heads! But at the same time, this is kind of the last tangible attachment in Atlanta to which we are letting go. My "silver queen" rodeo is gone, along with my Georgia tags. Our licenses now say "California" on them. And as of tomorrow, we will no longer own property in Georgia . . .

If I'm being honest, there was a significant part of me that liked still having our home. But I'm realizing that it's been an avenue for me to keep one foot in the past. And now, I feel as though the LORD is gently saying that it's time to let go of the past--time to turn our faces fully West and go with Him. To embrace His present for us, another big theme I've been working through over the past 6 months.

Even as I type, maybe I'm beginning to see some of God's plan in the delay of selling our home. He is a kind and loving God--He is patient with us and gently leads our hearts to Him. Perhaps if we had sold the house right away, the magnitude of change at one time would have overwhelmed me . . . who's to know, for His ways are so much higher than mine. I just know that He is to be trusted.

Well, I should probably start getting ready for work--I am like a child, giddy with excitement, as my family arrives this Saturday!!! SO looking forward to a whole week together. A break from the craziness of regular, everyday life. God is good!!

We will never forget our home on 1088 North Druid Hills Circle. Thankful for God's provision for us!